Sunday, March 11, 2012

I guess it could be worse

I have a problem. It's a good problem to have, I suppose. Some people who read this might curse me for even calling it a problem. It's the great debate going on with women everywhere. To work or not to work. I assume that around the time women re-joined the work force, and started leaving their babes with others, that they struggled with this. I have an awesome job. I'm a nurse, I make a difference in people's lives. I get fulfillment and satisfaction from going to work. It makes me proud to tell people what I do. And, to boot, I feel like it makes Zack very proud to tell people what I do. It was a hard journey, I deserve to reap the rewards of that hard work, right?
But, what about the rewards that come from being home with my baby? What value does that have? How does being at work affect my marriage, my sanity, my sense of self worth? My mom stayed home with me, but she always had something going on. She wrote and published a book when I was 13, she started a successful home building business, and most of all, she always seemed personally fulfilled.

So, I guess the ultimate question is really, how do I measure success, and personal fulfillment? I would say that when I'm working, I am more happy all around. I smile, even when I have a hard day at work. I still get to spend my time interacting with my peers, who I love, by the way. However, when Andrew was a baby, I stayed home. I got to spend 15 glorious months with him, and when I was ready, I went back to work. Best of both worlds. The problem is, I have a dream job that I really don't to lose. And, I have this new baby girl, that I can't stomach leaving; even with her daddy. I don't think he can do it as well as I can. Wow, how's that for honesty? He's a doctor, he's amazing with Andrew, he's amazing with Presley, and he's the person I trust more than anyone else in this world, but...he's not me. I am momma. I am mommy. I am mom.

So, what is the solution, ladies? Am I really that irreplaceable that Presley can't spend a few hours without me? Or is it me that can't spend a few hours with her? I think the answer to that question is an easy one. It's me. So, I'd love some advice on how working moms muster up the nerve to leave, and how stay at home moms earn their adult badge? How do you spend all your time talking to your baby, and not go crazy? I realize many many women don't have this choice. I am very lucky that I do; however, it would be a struggle. It would take sacrifice, just like most one income families. But, we could make it work. We could get creative with finances, if it was what best for the family. I feel soo blessed to have this problem. Really I do.


Blogger Heather said...

Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance! I have a question about your blog. HeatherVonsj(at)gmail(dot)com

March 15, 2012 at 3:54 PM  
Blogger C Turn said...

Ummm...I totally struggle with this! So I don't have any advice really, other than to say that you are not alone and that no matter what you choose, there will be compromise! But at the end of the day, you will make it work. Somehow, someway, mommies make it work!

April 9, 2012 at 12:04 PM  

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