Saturday, November 12, 2011

What he means to me.

I recently read a blog that had a beautifully written letter from a husband to his wife. He detailed all the wonderful things about her, and the many reasons why he loved her. I was so moved by his letter, but the most moving part was the sadness behind it. He waited until she passed away to write his letter. He read it at her funeral. He stated that even though she was sick, he thought he had more time. His poor sweet wife heard his letter, but from heaven. She never got to hear him read those words to her in the flesh. I know he will be forever regretful of that error in judgement. I chose a different fate. This is my letter to my husband, my life partner, my best friend. Long after we are both gone, our children will have this reminder of just what he meant to me.
Dear Zachary,
Since meeting you 10 years ago, I've been different. Not the kind of different that keeps me from knowing myself, but the kind of different that makes me my best me. I had never and have still never met someone as special as you. You have this uncanny ability to make everyone in the room feel like they are the most special person in the world. But, somehow, you make me feel that way all day, even when you aren't around. I always joke how you are everyone's favorite, but the truth is that you are; it's no joke. You are our son's hero. His safe place. His best bud. What you have given me by being that for him is more than I can ever express to you in words. Tears come to my eyes when I think back on all these years, and how better our lives are because of your influence. I wake up everyday happy knowing that you've chosen me to spend your life with.

I'm pregnant with our first little girl. I'm giving you one of the best gifts you'll ever receive. That fills my heart with more happiness than it's ever had. I can't wait to see the look on your face when you lay eyes on that sweet baby. It's a sight that I know I'll never forget. I've been one happy pregnant lady seeing your face light up everytime you see my belly and all it's grandure. I never knew a man could be so excited by all things that come with the changing body, and the many facets of pregnancy. It truly has been a blessing being able to see such joy and excitement I've been able to bring you these last 6 months.

Professionally, you've been able to achieve what few do. But, being a doctor is not what makes me most proud of you; although, that's a huge accomplishment! I'm most proud of your commitment and dedication. I've witnessed first hand just how hard this journey has been for you. You started as a fire fighter, and ended with a medical degree. You've taken on considerable debt and lost much sleep to follow your dream. You've sacrificed many evenings with friends and many holidays with family. You've set an example for our children that hard work does pay off, and that great things are worth fighting for. What a great gift you've given them. See...the gifts you give are never ending!

I love you so much and would do anything for you. I'm spoiled by you, and in turn hope I show you daily just how much you mean to me. I consider ours to be kindred spirits. Regardless of how silly it sounds, you are my soul mate. YOU are the best part of every single day. I'm blessed, we're blessed. Thank you for being you, because you are perfect for me. No matter what our future holds, it won't lessen the joy you've brought to my life. I see us as old souls who go on this crazy life journey together making each other laugh, and pushing each other to be better. Love isn't a big enough word, my sweet carrot.
Forever yours, Pea


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